I'll leave you with some wisdom my acquaintance at Taco Bell bestowed upon me: Never underestimate a woman's will to feed. She might have the phenotype of a Midwest soccer mom... but when the adrenaline hits, watch the fuck out.
So this is the new standard eh? Cosplaying as a gAmEr gIrL that rations her bathwater for Tier-3 subscribers and "oopsies" her way through milk toast sexual acts? Points for the i dun shit muh britches facial reactions after the 6 min mark.
Guys coming up short, Increasing Japan's tourism, Why not to go organic, Offending white college students and Incredible acts of self-reliance. This compilation covers more bases than Harvey Weinstein during a 3-day trip to the Bahamas. [ 0, 1, 2, 3, 4]
A girl with 2 first names doing trailer park things and the footage coming back to bite her in the cornhole. Around these parts we call this phenomenon "Monday Afternoon". But for Mary Beth Haglin, she's gonna need another 90 days to think about a sequel lol. [SONG] [MORE OF HER PORN]
7 samples into a hot dog warming party goes horribly wrong when one rogue cowboy says fuck all to the rules and slings his gentleman juice around like he's in the handicap stall at Country Buffet. The result is a crash course on Plan-B and why IQ tests need to be mandatory in porn. [More Here]
Classic case of overconfidence. If only she put as much research into this man's business model as she did into Instagram "fix my tits" filters, then maybe all of this could have been avoided. Ah well - Live, Learn and Burn.
A special "BRUH" moment for clip #4. I honestly haven't seen a woman that concerned since I test ran the floor units in Home Depot's toilet bowl section after White Castle started selling their burgers by the hundreds. Let's just say I'm not allowed to improve my house again until 2027. TAKE IT AWAY CORPSEGRINDER.
Poor prosti gets sandbagged by a local gentleman who's only sexual experience involves Walmart's checkout line & Colt 45. But apparently her dugout is built for the major leagues, cause despite his John McLane ingenuity... she still walks away with a smile. Fucking amazing.
My gut tells me the chances of a normal human being attempting this is right up there with Joy Behar being medicated during business hours. But I do find the authentic pleasure she has when making foot-to-vulva contact kind of endearing. [MORE]
Here it is: The grand finale in a long line of degenerates who value their integrity less than that chicken sandwich everyone is getting german suplexed over. Especially the last clip. I haven't seen determination like that since the Epstein Didn't Kill Himself meme.
This is a look into a pagan sex cult turned rock band called "RockBitch". A sex commune living in a monastery that created a music and stage show that's kinda like a feminist rage against the machine meets an all out orgy. More Info HERE
I've seen this configuration before. Okinawa birth certificate, Chevy-Silverado endurance. I'd refer to Alexa for a proper translation, but Amazon hasn't released the Aspergers DLC yet so you're just gonna have to fill in the blanks yourselves, compadres.
My tenure in pornography has made witness to a lot of hopeless girls doing a lot of hopeless shit just to keep their Tampax bills paid. But essentially giving your fellow camstitutes the green light to cry their way to Efukt superstardom? That's a level of loyalty I didn't even know I wanted.
Consider this the advanced users only section of the Internet. And nothing spells T-A-C-T-I-C-A-L A-D-V-A-N-T-A-G-E quite like a woman that could literally use a Volkswagen Golf as a dildo. If you're not into safe spaces being invaded... this one isn't for you. [MORE HERE]
Food Reviewers: Some do it because they found a way to monetize gluttony. Others, just want that sweet mcnugget sponsorship. And then there's Bruce. A man with enough F-tier hate fuck material to earn the Gordon Ramsey seal of approval. Feel free to tweet this video out @WENDY'S. I'd like their input on this. SOURCE
Blue-balled midgets, schizophrenic autists, Miley Cyrus' fan base... this woman's sexual clientele is more well-rounded than IHOP's farmhouse breakfast. Unfortunately there's no visuals of penetration. But what it lacks in nightmares... it makes up for in California's voting pool.
Don't let the confidence in her voice fool you: This cholita's ability to withstand pain is about as real as her soggy pancakes in a pushup bra. As illustrated by his first, second and 17th attempt to keep a decent rhythm in her poo canoe. The end result? Well... you'll see. [SOURCE]
As if the second amendment wasn't under enough criticism right now, we're gonna add a new dynamic: Introducing the Felons And Gangsters Movement. It's not quite left. It's not quite right. But dammit, California is going to need new tourism commercials ASAP.
Want irrefutable proof that brains can literally be fucked out? Look no further my skeptical amigos. Meet Sky Avery. A special kind of girl that clearly needs more than one demonstration to learn her lesson. There will be no hat trick.
There's just no going back after making a video like this. She'll be forever known as the degenerate that got famous for rawdogging a South Park character. She's essentially a walking, talking Twitter activist for borderless sexuality... and yet stays in semi-boner material territory. An enigma, if you will.